Monday, February 9, 2009

Still Alive...

Hi fellow bloggers! I miss you! Boy it just seems that my whole life and schedule has been out of whack since the Christmas vacation. The new year started off in full throttle and little ol' me is having problems getting things together. One aspect of my life that is suffering tremendously is my Blogging Time on BOTH of my blogs. /sad face /pouting lips

For my lovely followers, I apologize that I have not been posting as much and I am trying really hard to get my life/time under control again, so I am able to sit down and enjoy all the wonderful blogs I follow. I am so behind....I have no idea what is going on your life at this moment. I hope you are all doing well.

But....such is my life lol READ: Title of Blog. There is a reason I titled my blog the way I did... LOL

Anyhoo... quick summary:

1. My boys started a whole new school schedule starting Jan 5, their schedule has been totally flipped upside down and of them is going the full day! YEA! (Huge accomplishment) He goes to two different schools during the day, but he is having a ball. Unfortunately with Autism, schedules are a HUGE deal, so "acting-out" has been a problem. Stress, whether they are positive or negative stressors, are extremely hard to work through for about 2 months. And in response to stress, the way they communicate their uneasiness for the situation is through physical and emotional outbursts. (remember they can't speak) In this case...destruction. Sigh...I just can't seem to keep my house in one piece. Lots of eating the corners of the walls, diapers, wood furniture, toys, ripping out stuffing of cushions, fighting, biting, throwing items down the stairs, at the list goes on and on.... I spend a LOT of my time just cleaning this shit up.

2. My daughter Kiera stared school too! She is two and boy is it hard letting her out of my sight. On her second day her arm was hurt. We had to take her to the emergency room and were told she had "Nurse Maid's Elbow." This is caused by yanking on her arm very hard. So of course I was like ???????....come to find out it was done at school and there is now an investigation proceeding through SRS. The school came to me telling me about the incident and have made the proper actions to "make it right." The person is suspended without pay pending the investigation and will be terminated. TALK ABOUT MOMMY STRESS! First I am trying to deal with all those emotions from letting her go to school and now this!

3. Through out Christmas and the month of Jan my husband and I were continuously nervous about the possibility of him getting laid-off from his job. (We have only one income coming in) So it will be very rough. Well, the news was giving to him at the end of Jan that he is indeed getting laid-off. His last day will be in March. SO....lord help me! Now we are going through all of our possibilities trying to formulate the best plan of attack.

4. My husband and I decided that it was time for him to make an appointment with the doctor to have a vasectomy. Sigh...kinda emotional. We sat down and really discussed whether or not we wanted to have anymore children. Making this decision was not as easy as you might think. But, I had a pregnacy scare in Jan and that kinda helped make me see things a little clearer. Snip, we come.

Those are basically the highlights of what I have been battleing through since the beginning of Jan. It has dragged me down into a funk of emotional anguish and just plain lack of motivation. I feel icky all the time lately, but I am trying really hard to pull out of this spiral of chaos. I mean I love my job as a mommy, and I need to find my way out of this or else what good am I to them right? Also, there are other families out there that have it worse than we do. I just try and remind myself there are other people who have worse jobs and lives then I do. If they can do can I!

Well, toodles!!


MommaYoung said...

It's so good to hear from you.

So sorry about the up coming lay offs. The economics of our country are hitting everyone so hard.

your family will be in my prayers.

Super Mom said...

Yea for the kids! Boo for layoffs. /sticks out tongue and blows rasberry.

Pat is getting laid off too (as you know), AND they go to a 3 day work week for the next 5 weeks (until layoff takes affect) starting next week... bleh. So, its not bad enough that they lay you off, but then they cut your hours to boot... assholes...

Dawn said...

Im praying for you!

WalkingInADream said...

Without me saying it .. you know I love you and am thinking of all of you.