Ahhhhhhhh.....

IT'S OVER!!! WOOT!!!!


Christmas has come and gone, though it was A LOT of fun, I have to admit I am glad it has passed. It so stressful. Half the time I didn't even know if I was coming or going. My brain feels like mush.



~Stretches out legs and puts hands behind head~ I can now just relax a bit and wait patiently for New Year. Ahhhhhhhhhh.


I know I haven't been writing much lately, hopefully I will get back into soon. Things have been crazy the last few weeks, but they are starting to get back to normal. I did however take off the Christmas music and add a new playlist at the very bottom of my blog. Hope you enjoy the off the wall selections. I feeling a little ol' school when I chose a lot of the music. lol


If you read my other blog that I co-write on, you will notcie we have taken a small break with that one too. Have no fear! The writing will commense shortly.


Anyhoo.....I just wanted to let you know that I was still alive. I must go due to children waking up. I will get myself on a new writing schedule soon!



~waves goodbye~


Ta Ta

Tis the season, I guess....

Well, it is that time of year again....Christmas is sneaking up on us! I don't know about you, but I have mixed feelings about this time of year. lol Christmas and I have this love/hate relationship that has been going on for about the last five years. I try REALLY hard every year to get into the Christmas spirit, but it is hit and miss....one day I get giddy and LOVE the idea of putting up decorations, shopping for presents, listening to Christmas music while sitting by the fire with my husband, watching Christmas movies, and most of all....being with my family. BUT...on other days, (makes fart noise and give Christmas a thumbs down)...I could a give a shit and just feel depressed. :-(

Right now, I feel pretty "Christmasy" hence the new music on my blog. BTW...I provided a large list on the displayer at very bottom of my blog, please feel free to choose whatever you want to listen to. I have a varied selection. Of course some of you are probably saying "ARE YOU CRAZY!? WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU PUT X-MAS MUSIC ON YOUR BLOG?" All I can say is....I do not listen to the radio, so I haven't heard any yet. lol I actually thought about writing out Christmas cards (GASP! I never do these) and maybe going Christmas shopping this weekend....but I will probably change my mind once I do bills and look at what's left of our money. /cry Finances also seem to get me down lately. I have not bought one present yet. lol

Starting in November, money starts to get really tight around our house. It just so depressing! lol We have tried to learn form our mistakes (I SWEAR!) We save up money for this time of year, but it just never seems to work out. Something ALWAYS comes up where we have to "dip" into our saved money. First we have tag two cars, and then we have the birthdays..sigh. Tyler and Dakotah's Bday is on Nov 27th, then mine on Dec 10th, and the Kiera's on the 14th. Four Bdays in about 3 weeks time frame. That is a lot of extra spending right there. It also NEVER fails that we all get sick in November or December. We just try and do the best we can. I am sure a lot of families have the same problems...so I will not bitch on this anymore. :-)

Another thing I really hate aroud this time of year is all the fucking rules we have to follow in order to be PC for Christmas time....pfffftt. What a bunch of bullshit. That is one thing about Wal-Mart I LOVE, they will tell me Merry Christmas!....not to mention I love there prices! If you have a child in school, this whole "PC" shit gets even worse. With the "Winter Programs, Winter Party," and such. Oh yeah, and DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT HAVING A CHRISTMAS PARTY AT WORK!! WHEW! That's a fucking mess just waiting to happen! What's next? Anyway, I do not want to get on a rant here........so instead I am going treat you to a new version of the Night Before Christmas. This is written by Larry the Cable Guy, a comedian. When I heard it, I laughed my head off, but at the same time I shook my head in sadness....'cause people....I feel he makes a strong point.

Larry The Cable Guy-
"They are now trying to politically correct up Christmas Stories so that they don't offend nobody and that everybody everywhere can enjoy them. So this is a story that was formerly known as "'Twas The Night Before Christmas....."






"Twas The Night Before a Non-Denominational Winter Holiday"




Twas the night before a non-denominational winter holiday, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.


The neutral gift sacks were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that a non-specific holiday figure would be soon be there.


Children of every race, creed, and nationality,were rested all snug in their beds
While visions of sugar-free plums danced in their heads.


When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter
I got out of bed to see what was the matter....and to find out who was violating the neighborhood sound level ordinance!


But what to my wondering eyes did appear?
But an emissions-free vehicle, and 8 sized-challenged reindeer.


Holiday figure was so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be.........holiday figure.


He had a broad but normal face, and an advanced sized belly,
and he laughed, "Lady of the Evening! Lady of the Evening! Lady of the Evening!"




......"Now can you believe that? What in the world -- you can't even say "Ho! Ho! Ho!" anymore?! What kind of commie crap is this? I don't care who you are his name is Santy Clause and he cracks deer with a horsewhip, breaks into people's houses, drinks rum and eggnog, and looks like Uncle Jessie from "The Dukes of Hazard"....End of Story!"



Well, I would go on, but my kids.....
I will write more soon.
Hope you enjoyed some Christmas Cheer! (well sort of LOL)

How Does One Get To Heaven?

Well, if you are my one of my children, Dakotah.....(the one who walked in on my husband and I getting intimate last night) You would probably say "Feet first!"

Yup, that's right...one of my children walked in on my husband and I having sex! (hides face) Last night my son Tyler was very sick, so I had left their door open and ours so that I could hear them at all times, just in case Tyler started having a coughing fit or needed his breathing machine. So, there were no door handle shakes, creaking door hinges, or anything like that to tip my off. (not that I probably could have heard any of those things at that particular moment lol) Man, the sex was GREAT!!!...except for......There I was "getting into it," my feet in the air screaming "Oh God...I'm coming....I'm coming!" and in walks a sleepy Kotah. (I'm just glad we kept it more traditional this time ROFL!) This is the first time one of my boys came into our room when we were "doing the nasty." What the hell was he doing up?! It was 5 in the morning! This is one of these VERY few times I am glad he can not speak well. (Sooooo embarrassed!!!!)

With the Autism factor coming into play here, I am divided on whether or not to address the situation or play it off like nothing happened. He didn't cry or anything like "Daddy's hurting Mommy." He was just standing there being quiet, when I just happened to look over and see him. He just had this confused look on his face like "WTF?" My reaction was "OMG!! GET OFF ME?!" as I threw my husband off my body onto the floor. BOOM! I grabbed the sheets and wrapped them around my naked body. I jumped off the bed and went to my son...."Everything ok sweetie?"I my loving mommy voice. Dakotah's reply...."Paaaaa Teeeeee" as he sticks his thumb through his fore finger and middle finger, in a fist and shakes it back and forth. (sign language for "potty") "Sure honey." I quickly led him to the bathroom so he could go potty. He peed for soooooo long. We did our little victory dance and hand washing....I checked to make sure his diaper was still dry, and then I laid him back down in his bed. I can still picture my husbands face when I paniced, yelled at him, and threw him. LOL His eyes were huge and he let out a little yelp as he was tossed. LOL SIGH......Needless to say...the "mood" was gone by the time I went back to bed.

On the other hand, Dakotah was SO proud of himself, and of course I was BEAMING with pride for him as well!! Potty training has been HELL for us. We have been trying this "potty training" shit for about two years, off and on. They just have a really hard time understanding it. When teaching a Autistic child to use the restroom, soooooo many factors come into play....including visual schedules...books....lighting...sounds....smells....particular toilet seats...safety...etc. (Try teaching two of them at the same time!!) I am ecstatic that he is finally getting the hang of it....it is unfortunate that he interrupted "Mommy's Happy Time." But hey....it is a small price to pay, right?

I'm just trying to help....

Women...Have you had your boyfriend, lover, fiance, or husband have troubles understanding what constitutes as a "good" gift for holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc? Or Men...have you ever had trouble figuring out what that "perfect" gift might be? Most of us can probably relate to this situation. I am here to help....and maybe get a chuckle out of you. It just seems that for some reason, men have the hardest time picking out that perfect gift. So I took sometime and made a quick list of items that I would consider the worst gift ideas to buy.

Disclaimer: Now these are my opinions based on the numerous phone calls I get every year from my girlfriends, complaining about all the shitty presents they got. I always have to say, "What was he thinking?"



Before we get to the list: I got this through my email today and I loved it so much I wanted to share it with as many people as I could. Please take time to click on the link below:

http://adage.com/brightcove/lineup.php?lineup=3128385001&title=3130509001




OK here we go...


Ten Gifts You Should Never Get A Woman For A Special Occasion:

1. Any type of appliance that makes "housework easier." This is just a horrible idea! If your house is in need of new appliances, wait until after the holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc to purchase these items. (They are not gifts!) Buy the appliance together, go to the store and choose the one you both agree on.


2. I would recommend not buying clothes for her. Chance are you do not know her real size and her taste in clothes can very. No matter if you think you know her size.....if it doesn't fit her perfectly, her feelings will probably be hurt. If it is too small: She will feel that you thought she was much skinny then she really is and she will fill fat. Too big: She will feel that you see her as much larger then she really is, this will make her feel fat. So do yourself a favor and skip clothing....instead buy a $500 gift card to her favorite store and let her go on a shopping spree!


3. No shoes. Again this is a touching situation. Color, style, size, and feel all come into to play here. Most women are EXTREMELY picky about their shoes, so unless you would like one shoved up your ass because you bought a pair that would fit Bigfoot...stay away from these as well.


4. No exercise equipment or gym memberships. This just screams 'I think you are fat and need to lose some weight." Even if she SWEARS she wants a treadmill, don't fall for it. This is probably a test....if you buy it, you will fail. Instead, I suggest again, going shopping together for the item on any other regular day. Not only will you probably get something you both will enjoy, but just the fact that you went shopping with her will score you major points...as long as you are not a dick.

If she asks why you didn't buy the treadmill for her, just reply "Oh honey, I wanted to get you something much more special. For this occasion I would rather spend my money trying pamper you instead." Then give her a certificate for a Day at the Spa. Trust me, I do not know one women that would not like to spend the entire day getting pampered. Make sure it includes a manicure, pedicure, facial, 1 hour massage, and maybe even a hair cut. (Kissing ass can only help you sweetie)


5. Cooking utensils. These lack creativity and thought, don't put yourself in that category. Also, most utensils are not very expensive, most women would like that you spend just a tad more money on them. A lot women see cooking as "just another chore," and purchasing these items as gifts would send the message that you agree she should be in the kitchen. (Even if you do believe she should be in the kitchen, it is best NOT to let her know that!!......bastard)


6. Never buy anything for her that you secretly want, like a bowling ball, power tool, stereo equipment, or shotgun. She will see right through this and probably kick your ass, OR she will be polite, say thank you in a tone that says "fuck you" and go return the item for something she would like. Either way you are an asshole and she will remember it for years to come. (Trust me on this one)


7. Perfume. Now some of you might be saying, "But she loves it when I get her perfume for her!" That is all fine and dandy. Perfume can be pretty expensive, but if it is only one of 3 items you are getting her...let's go for something a little more romantic. Also, if you do not know what perfume she wears, just forget about it buddy. Women are pretty particular about their perfume and will not settle for some cheap ass perfume that comes in a really "cool looking bottle." Women try on numerous perfumes looking for the one that smells "just right." The odds of you finding one that she absolutely adores is pretty slim.


8. Bubble Baths, Lotions, and Body washes. This is something you buy for someone you do not know really well, or nieces, sisters, mother-in-laws. This says "I had no clue what to get you and didn't make time to find out what you really wanted". Now guys, I know some of you are saying....awwww, those are okay....true, but....this is another item that shows no creativity, thought, or that you really care about what she wants. I can guarantee you that, if she ever shops at a mall, she probably has tons of this shit already. Choose something else.


9. No prepacked gift boxes, baskets, or tubs that contain cute little hot cocoa mugs, with 20 different types of hot cocoa, marshmallows,....the works! Or, any other "themed" gift package. These are items you get for a co-workers, neighbors, the mailman, or whatever. Basically, it is a cop-out from buying a REAL gift. I have to say, that personally I kinda like these gifts....but not from my husband. These gifts are ok from people who do not know me that well and would like me to know that they had me in mind while making their holiday shopping list. BUT THEY ARE NOT A GIFT THAT YOU GIVE TO THAT "SOMEONE SPECIAL" IN YOUR LIFE!


10. Gift Cards/Certificate. Ok I know this seems a little hypocritical considering the advice I gave earlier in #'s 2 and 4, but hear me out. The certificates I spoke of earlier I still feel are ok to give her. I am talking about gift cards for fast food places, Wal- Mart, the Mall, bookstores, or minutes on a cell phone/calling card. I mean come on....This is suppose to be your "someone special" not just your buddy. I would accept any/all of these from my friends, family, co workers, and anyone else who wants to give me one....except my husband. When you are in a relationship, you NEED to go that extra mile...spend the extra few dollars... or think in advance for that perfect present. Is that really too much to ask?

(PS if any of my family are reading this I would love movie passes to the Warren Theater!)


So anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Hopefully, I have helped at least one person out there. I need to go for now to put my daughter to bed. Maybe later in the week, I will post some good gift ideas for both women and men. Until then.....